October 13th, 2011
Dating And Texting Without Your Reading Glasses

I love my iPhone. It’s my office in my hand. I can take a call, send a text, check my calendar, send an email and play “Angry Birds” from the comfort of wherever I am. But, this wireless wonder can also betray you like no other lover — especially, when not wearing the necessary reading glasses.

I was contemplating a second date with a man I had recently gone out with. I had cancelled a date with him due to sitter problems and was debating rebooking it. I was getting advice from a girlfriend via text while I sat in my parked car and my son took part in a summer camp. I had already texted my girlfriend that this man never laughed during our three hour-long, first date. I must not have been amusing or he lacked a sense of humor. Either way, I was on the losing end of this date. She texted back suggesting that maybe he was just nervous.

I text back:

“I know. I thought about it, and I’ll probably see him again. But tomorrow is too complicated because I’ve lost my sitter… If it doesn’t work out then, I’ll have to find the guts to say so.”

Did I mention that I’m not wearing my reading glasses — which I really do need to read clearly?

The nanosecond I press, “send” I realize I’m actually sending the text to… (vision clears a little) my humorless date!

“Ah!” I am mortified. “ How is this possible? Stop!” My heart is racing. My offending finger tries desperately to un-send the message.

“Abort! Abort! Abort!”

I hopelessly watch the fast progress of this massive, user-error and, soon-to-be, red-face moment for both of us. Where is the “escape” button for moments like these? Apple! This wireless wonder I carry with me like a security blanket has betrayed me. I shut it off and throw it in my purse.

I avoid my phone for an hour, hoping the “time erases everything” mentality will apply in this case. I turn it back on. No text message from him. It works! I’ve dodged the bullet and assume my humorless bow has written me off his, “women I want to date again” list.

Later in the evening, I hear that distinct chime alerting me I have a text message. Error recipient has responded!

“I got a text from you earlier that obviously wasn’t intended for me. Just letting you know.”

Guilt trip, please!

The wireless ball is now in my court. I tell myself, “You are not a coward.” I consider calling him but shame moves me to, text instead. “So sorry about that!! (I’m hoping the double exclamation punctuation shows my true embarrassment and earns me sympathy points) ‘Was ranting about my sitter situation to a friend.’”

I have not heard from him since. Guess he really doesn’t have a sense of humor. No doubt I am now officially on a more unseemly list. There is one remaining wireless communication problem. A day earlier, before the misdirected text was sent, he had sent me an email in response to my sitter-issue cancellation asking to let him know if and when I wanted to rebook our next date.

Is the wireless ball still in my court?

[Photo By Emily Rachel Hildebrand]

Leave a Reply