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I have been annoyed by sexy Halloween costumes for a long time now. I don’t mean to disparage tastefully sexy and feminine clothing. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being feminine. I’m not some sort of prude who thinks all women should wear cloaks. I’m talking about  costumes that look like tacky negligees.

I don’t understand why Halloween becomes the only opportunity for some women to manifest their desire to look like prostitutes. I say, if you want to look like a Playboy Bunny, why do you have to be a coward and wait until Halloween? Just do it! Own it! Be proud! Why do you have to do it dressed as a sexy caterpillar? A sexy fire fighter? A sexy Ninja Turtle? In what bizarre world would these things/people look sexy? What’s next? A sexy clown? A sexy hot dog?

Where do you draw the line?

Another issue with these provocative costumes is that they’re devoid of any creativity. All you have to do is take anything, anything at all, and make it so your lady parts hang out. Come on, ladies! We can do better than that.

It’s frustrating being a woman sometimes. We can’t walk down the street without being bombarded by a million ads that essentially say: “You’re not good enough!” “You look like poo!” “You should really try harder to please your d-bag boyfriend!” “If you were more emaciated then you would get the respect you deserve!” “Lipo is the new black!” “You are an abomination of a human being if you don’t buy this new lip plumping gloss!” “Pluck this!” “Laser your face off, uggo!” You get the idea.

In The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf writes, “The closer women come to power, the more physical self-consciousness and sacrifice are asked of them.” According to Wolf, the beauty obsession of the 1980s was a direct result of women gaining strength in the workforce. Society fears free women, therefore we are made to feel perpetually physically inadequate. As a result, billions of dollars are spent on beauty products and plastic surgery.

Sexy Halloween is just another opportunity to profit from women’s insecurities and for women to shred each other to pieces. Wolf writes: “Competition between women has been made part of the myth so that women will be divided from one another. …Most urgently, women’s identity must be promised upon our ‘beauty’ so that we will remain vulnerable to outside approval, carrying the vital sensitive organ of self-esteem exposed to the air.”

How many women will be picking apart each others’ costumes this year? This is one of the reasons I like going mustachioed for Halloween. You may think I’m some prude, but I assure you I’m not. Women should be proud of their bodies. I’m surely proud of mine. The female form should be celebrated with confetti. I just ask that women consider the implications when they’re fastening their garter belts and heading out into the Halloween night looking like a hooker-pumpkin. “What compels you to do this?” I want to ask.

Who exactly are you doing this for? And why?

[Screenshot By Leg Avenue]

By Antonio Martinez

Courtesy of www.OurTiempo.com

It is a week before Halloween and your friend has invited you to the ultimate house party. You want to look good, stand out, enough to get attention, but the right kind of attention. Here are our tips on putting together that perfect outfit.

DON’T

• Look gross – fake blood, scabs, or anything that looks like it was done by the makeup artist of Saw is just plain ugly. “La Llorona” costume may be all the rage, but you’re an adult, Halloween isn’t about scaring people, it’s about having fun. Wonder why no one talked with you more than 5 minutes last year with that fake hatchet in your head, bingo.
• Wear masks that cover your whole face – again, it’s just creepy. A mask that covers your eyes is okay (think Robin). Masquerade masks on sticks are always cool. Never go for the full on “Chupacabra” costume. It will be hot and as soon as you take off the mask all your white friends will think your trying to be Chewbacca.

DO

• Pick a costume that starts conversations – you’re there to be social, so get in character and say hello.
• Accessorize – If you’re a rock star, bring a corded microphone and sling it over your shoulder. Large items don’t work, but small ones rock. Anything you can hold with your mojito or put down and not forget.
• Use your Spanish accent – if you have one great, if you don’t, now’s your time.  Let’s face it, things just sound sexier. We say embrace what we’ve been given.

Ideas for Hombres:

• Scarface – get your girlfriend to be Elvie
•  Zoro – a classic
• Fidel Castro – all you need is military fatigues, beard and a cigar
• Pitbull – be committed, shave your head
• Pancho Villa – get a fake mustache a poncho and some hats
• Mariachi – we all want an excuse to wear those outfits
• Machete – just keep those knives fake bro

Ideas for Mujeres:

• Dora the Explorer – teaching an entire generation of white kids Spanish
• Bandoleras – show your pride, but go for the fake guns
• Flamingo Dance – a classic
• Frida – you rock that mono-brow girl with pride
• Sonia Sotomayor – get a robe and be that “Wise Latina”
• La Chilindrina – forgo the buck teeth, though

Halloween is right around the corner and in order to avoid getting caught in one of those sticky situations where you find yourself the object of ire because you “accidentally” dressed up as something racist, or didn’t get the irony quite right, we wanted to give you a list of things that you wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing when your boss Googles you.

1.) Cholos, cholas, gangbangers, etc.

I hope I don’t actually have to explain this to you (hint: it means all Latinos are criminals).

2.) Bandido, you know, the big hat, mustache and serape.

Seriously, anything with a mustache and a serape and a big hat, ugh. Have you ever actually met a Mexican that dresses that way?

3.) Sexy Latina stereotype.

Although there are many, many to choose from, it’s kind of tired, isn’t it? Do any of your aunties actually look like that? Have they ever? Can Latinas just be women, not sexual objects for your gratification, this Halloween?

4.) Drug lord from South America (or somewhere).

You know, you can wear linen pants whenever you want to, please don’t use Halloween as an excuse to make people compliment your wardrobe while stereotyping an entire continent. It’s not funny when thousands of people are dying.

5.) An immigrant.

Yeah, please don’t pick up a bag of oranges or something or pretend like you’re running from la migra. That’s not funny, either.

And if you’re saying to yourself, “Sara, chill out, why do you get so riled up? No one does that.” Check out this screenshot from drugstore.com (btw this is one of many, search it):

[Photo By Ashley R. Good]