‘Vindicated’ Alberto Gonzales Sad, Needs Money

Remember how sad former First-Hispanic-Attorney-General-Ever-Of-All-Time Alberto Gonzales was the last time we wrote about him? Well, he’s kind of happier now, but still sad, and needs money. Which is to say, now that the few friends he has think he’s been “vindicated,” they’re helping him fundraise money to pay for his legal bills.

Just to recap: A more-or-less rich guy who helped other rich guys get richer, then took the fall for the rich frat boy, is now asking the few rich friends he has left to help him pay for legal bills he incurred to stay free (and rich). There’s a fundraising website and everything, www.gonzalestrust.com, and this is what it says:

Judge Alberto Gonzales, the 80th Attorney General of the United States and former Texas Supreme Court Justice, needs your help to pay the legal costs associated with defending his decisions and those of the Bush Administration while facing government investigations following his service as Attorney General…The Alberto R. Gonzales Legal Expense Trust was formed to help retire the substantial legal bills that resulted from needing experienced Washington counsel to address the investigations resulting from many accusations, largely from partisan sources, involving the Attorney General while he served with President Bush defending our country. Our nation is better and safer because of his service. Judge Gonzales needs your help to retire the substantial legal expenses accrued in his defense.

Inspiring, isn’t it? I think the whole thing is sad, except not really because everyone involved is still rich and free, and I’m still a starving grad student. Do you think I could start a trust to help “retire” some of my student loans?