I Fell In Love Online But No One Is Happy For Me

Dear Martha:

I desperately need your opinion because I feel like no one understands me, or supports me. I’m a 26 year-old divorced woman with two children currently living with my parents because they take care of my children when I go to work. I’ve been divorced for two years and the father of my daughters does not see them or support them financially. I am the only breadwinner in my parents’ home in Dallas and sometimes I think my parents don’t want me to be happy.

I’ve been in love with the perfect man for six months. He accepts me and my daughters, says he loves me and he wants me to go live with him in Miami. The problem is I’ve only ever met him on Facebook, my parents and friends are very upset because he just recently arrived from Cuba and hasn’t been able to find work.

I believe in him, if he keeps trying soon he’ll have work and he’ll buy me a house for me and my children. My parents have been so upset that they say they’re going to report me to the authorities if I take my children. I feel like no one understands me because I believe in him, do you think he’s not being honest with me?

—Love By Long Distance

Dear Love By Long Distance:

I congratulate you for taking charge of your children and supporting them as they grow up. I understand the concern of your parents, they don’t want you to be hurt again, since now you’ve got two young daughters and no one to support you financially.

It’s hard to know someone, really, through the Internet, and even more difficult to risk the stability of your children by moving to a different city with someone no one else knows. Choosing someone to date over the Internet can be risky, since you don’t know the real version of him. You can tell him that he should visit you first, and you can find a way to figure out his immigration status here. Also, if you want to see him first you have to do it without involving your two daughters, since you want to be sure that things can work first.

Your parents just want to protect you from what could happen to you and your daughters. look for a way to continue your relationship by visiting each other, and only when you’re sure that he’s a reliable person, a single person, that he can support you with a job, that you two have chemistry when you meet, then you can think of the next step.

Remember that your parents are only looking out for their daughter and granddaughters, what would you do as a mother to protect your children?