Class Warfare: Occupy Wall Street, The Board Game

Throughout the country protesters have gathered in the financial centers of major cities to voice frustrations over corporate greed, and, in the movement’s opinion, to bring attention to Wall Street’s deliberate and continuing exploitation of the bottom 99% of the country.

Protestors clearly hellbent on destroying the nation have, in some instances, even clashed violently with authorities. More than 800 protestors, for instance, have been arrested in New York.

So, as the whole fiasco gains momentum and organization, it elicits some discomfort from those considered by the protestors to be “the ruling elite.” Lots of bejeweled fingers are uncomfortably tugging at expensive, imported shirt collars in cartoonish gestures in hopes of relieving the current class discomfort.

Wall Street-beholden politicians in particular have found a way to ensure that class frustrations are vented more effectively, more palatably. For everyone’s sake.

What we need, they say, is a more sanitized and non-threatening way for these delusional protestors to blow off some class steam and go back to hunting city pigeons for survival and living under bridges.

A game tentatively entitled Occupy Wall Street, The Board Game allows players to role play “CEO” and “the working poor.” One player wears an imported Italian suit and the remaining players shout loudly and wave homemade signs.  (Don’t pull the “Crowd Control Card,” unless you want your fellow poor to get a face full of mace as the CEO enjoys a Chianti.)

Republicans insist that everyone wins when class warfare happens at home, quietly — with the blinds drawn. It’ll be on store shelves soon…too bad you won’t be able to afford it.

Your handsome and humble servant  —

El Guapo