Who Are Those Sexy Halloween Costumes Really For?

I have been annoyed by sexy Halloween costumes for a long time now. I don’t mean to disparage tastefully sexy and feminine clothing. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being feminine. I’m not some sort of prude who thinks all women should wear cloaks. I’m talking about  costumes that look like tacky negligees.

I don’t understand why Halloween becomes the only opportunity for some women to manifest their desire to look like prostitutes. I say, if you want to look like a Playboy Bunny, why do you have to be a coward and wait until Halloween? Just do it! Own it! Be proud! Why do you have to do it dressed as a sexy caterpillar? A sexy fire fighter? A sexy Ninja Turtle? In what bizarre world would these things/people look sexy? What’s next? A sexy clown? A sexy hot dog?

Where do you draw the line?

Another issue with these provocative costumes is that they’re devoid of any creativity. All you have to do is take anything, anything at all, and make it so your lady parts hang out. Come on, ladies! We can do better than that.

It’s frustrating being a woman sometimes. We can’t walk down the street without being bombarded by a million ads that essentially say: “You’re not good enough!” “You look like poo!” “You should really try harder to please your d-bag boyfriend!” “If you were more emaciated then you would get the respect you deserve!” “Lipo is the new black!” “You are an abomination of a human being if you don’t buy this new lip plumping gloss!” “Pluck this!” “Laser your face off, uggo!” You get the idea.

In The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf writes, “The closer women come to power, the more physical self-consciousness and sacrifice are asked of them.” According to Wolf, the beauty obsession of the 1980s was a direct result of women gaining strength in the workforce. Society fears free women, therefore we are made to feel perpetually physically inadequate. As a result, billions of dollars are spent on beauty products and plastic surgery.

Sexy Halloween is just another opportunity to profit from women’s insecurities and for women to shred each other to pieces. Wolf writes: “Competition between women has been made part of the myth so that women will be divided from one another. …Most urgently, women’s identity must be promised upon our ‘beauty’ so that we will remain vulnerable to outside approval, carrying the vital sensitive organ of self-esteem exposed to the air.”

How many women will be picking apart each others’ costumes this year? This is one of the reasons I like going mustachioed for Halloween. You may think I’m some prude, but I assure you I’m not. Women should be proud of their bodies. I’m surely proud of mine. The female form should be celebrated with confetti. I just ask that women consider the implications when they’re fastening their garter belts and heading out into the Halloween night looking like a hooker-pumpkin. “What compels you to do this?” I want to ask.

Who exactly are you doing this for? And why?