January 12th, 2012
Undocumented Immigrants Can’t Even Freeload Properly

It’s no secret that El Guapo hates undocumented immigrants.

He spent most of the holidays on his roof, throwing used cell phones and rusty 9-volt batteries at his undocumented family members as they arrived for holiday gatherings. (Tía Lupe should be out of the hospital any day now, and you better believe that ICE will be waiting to cart her away from her children.)

El Guapo’s hatred for the undocumented is normally on a controlled boil. However, after viewing the viral YouTube video made by a couple of astute Arizona Ph.D. cadidates, his hatred flared to new levels. (Note: video NSFW)

These classy and thoughtful young ladies made El Guapo realize that there is much more to hate about undocumented immigrants, especially the fact that they’re always walking around carrying burritos lecherously. Zing! You really nailed them on that one ladies.

How stupid are undocumented immigrants? Well, they can’t even freeload properly. Everyone knows that the undocumented are a drain on federal and state funds and are driving this country to ruin, but it appears they can’t even get that right.

Apparently undocumented immigrants contribute billions into Social Security and Medicare, even though they are unable to claim benefits from these programs.

The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office clarified that “over the past two decades, most efforts to estimate the fiscal impact of immigration in the United States have concluded that, in aggregate and over the long term, tax revenues of all types generated by immigrants — both legal and unauthorized — exceed the costs of the services they use.”

That’s just God awful freeloading. It doesn’t make sense. What’s wrong with the undocumented?  That’s like breaking into someone’s home to clean it and leave a flat screen TV.  Have the burritos gone to their heads?

Your handsome and humble servant —

El Guapo

[Photo By CarbonNYC]

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