One step back, two steps forward

By Marlin Bucio, Latina Voices

I remember feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe my eyes.  The pregnancy test was positive. I could feel my palms sweating excessively and my heart pounded like never before. There I was, 19, living on campus and enrolled in college.

What were my parents going to think?

Growing up, my father was the breadwinner and my mother was a housewife. As far as I can remember during my childhood, my parents didn’t have the income to provide new things for my brother and I. But as I grew older, I realized that material things weren’t as important as the morals and values they shared with us. My father always instilled the importance of education and succeeding in life.

Every day he’d come home from work, he’d sit down on the table and talk about how rough his day was with racist customers and his manager, who overworked him. Everyday I’d repeatedly hear my father say.

 ”Hija, yo quiero que seas alguien en esta vida, estudia para que tú puedas proveer por tu familia y no tener que depender de nadie.”

“Daughter of mine, I want you to be someone in life, study rigorously so that one day you can provide for your family without having to rely on anyone.”

He had high expectations for me.

“Algún día de graduaras de la escuela toda una professional. Yo no tuve la oportunidad como tú la tienes, aprovecha, yo se que tu puedes.”

 ”One day you are going to graduate and become a professional. I never had the opportunity to go to school like you, take advantage of the resources available. I know you can do it!”

His words now haunted me.

Who was I kidding? Not only had I disappointed myself, but also my parents, who believed and expected so much from me.

I knew my life would change. I embraced the blessing God had sent me, my son, and continued with my studies in Chicago.

I saw life with a different lens. It was a new chapter. It was a new beginning for us. My son was now my motivation to continue to follow and pursue my dreams.  I knew juggling school, work and a baby would be challenging, but I also knew that I wasn’t the first teen mother to go through this situation.

According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 69 percent of Latina teen moms drop out of high school, compared to 58 percent of teen moms overall.

I refused to become a statistic, relinquish my studies or accept failure.

I managed to stay on top of my studies during my pregnancy. My instructors were very understanding. I am very fortunate that my parents stood by me. They were very attentive and supportive day in and day out.

Today, I am elated to be a sophomore at Columbia College Chicago. In two years, I will obtain a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism. I am a proud mother of a 2-year-old, and I still have the ambition to dream big just like everyone else.

It’s been a bumpy road, but I’ve remained tenacious. I continue to have perseverance and dedication towards obtaining a degree.

One of my favorite quotes is,  “The difference between what is impossible and possible for you, lies in what you do and how determined you are.” –By Melchor Lim

I am determined for myself and my son.

This article was originally published in Latina Voices.

[Photo by EssamSaad]

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